“You can’t reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.”
– A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court
Interviews are a funny thing because you never know how they are going to go until you actually do it. I know some journalists who say otherwise and will feed you all sorts of bullshit about how the difference between a rookie and a skilled professional. Those people kill me. They like to engage in this mental masturbation in which they feed their ego and quash their insecurities by pretending to be more than they are.
The reality is that interviews are about building a connection between you and whomever you are talking to. And don’t let people fool you into thinking that interviewing someone about something they love is any easier than interviewing a serial killer.
Many serial killers earn their stripes because they are charming and adept at making you feel comfortable. The software engineer may love computers but may not be able to speak eloquently about it. Do me a favor and don’t tell Kim that I compared her to a serial killer, but she is every bit as engaging in person as she is on television.
She is also exceptionally curious and there were more than a few moments in which I wasn’t sure who was trying to interview who. There were a couple of moments where I thought that she might have been interested in taking me upstairs but that could just be my own ego speaking. Or maybe it is just my curiosity.
After all the therapist who advises women to “own their own orgasm” is the kind of woman that intrigues me. That is the kind of thing that might get me in trouble with my female readers which is why I would never publish it in my column or in any of the articles that I am writing for this series.
Although it could make for an interesting side story to all of this. If I did reach out to Ann I could tell her that I had become quite progressive and that I wanted her to “own her orgasm” because it would make for a stronger relationship between the two of us. Again this is the sort of thing that you probably need to hold off on discussing until such time as it became real.
On the other hand I was tempted to ask Sheri to ask Kathy to ask Ann about her orgasms, specifically in reference to those she received as a result of being with me. Yes, that does have a sort of middle school feel to it except I am not telling three people to tell a girl that I like her. No, in this case I am asking two women to talk to a third woman about sexual experiences we had together once upon a time.
Now this raises a number of questions and comments that may or may not be related to any of this. It is generally believed that women talk ab0ut everything or so we men are lead to believe. So in theory asking Sheri to ask Kathy to talk to Ann about my prowess or lack thereof in bed might not be such a big deal because they might have already had that talk.
Hell, Ann was among the most detail oriented people I know. They might have an entire bible about me or maybe not. Actually I had a pretty detailed memory about Ann and what she liked so I probably shouldn’t go around tossing rocks.
Anyway, a more likely explanation for Kim Boston’s interest in me was my reaction to the house music. I heard I Just Need You Now by Lady Antebellum playing and I got lost.
“Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin’ for the phone ’cause I can’t fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time”
I suppose that you can attribute some of my reaction to all of this energy that I have put into Ann. Between the conversation with the girls and the few minutes that I have spent thinking about her something has gotten stirred up inside. I don’t know how to describe other than to say that I am unsettled.
I want to ask her if she reads my words because she just likes my writing or if because there is something more. I want to ask her what would happen if she saw me. I want to ask her if she really believes that all that we had is gone. I want to ask her if she believes that all we were is dead.
You could say that there is one way to find out. You could say that all I have to do is ask her but it doesn’t feel that simple to me. There was a time when I asked and she swore it was all gone. I didn’t believe her then and truthfully knowing that she has kept on reading for all these years makes me believe that I was right and that she lied to me.
I don’t think she lied because she didn’t love me or want me. I think she did because she couldn’t figure out how to make it happen and it was easier to try and push me away. Easier to try to fight with me because when you are angry it is always easier to say goodbye.
If Kim Boston theories are to be believed I am probably right too. She has this whole thing about energy exchanges, timing and life purpose. Of course she has this whole other theory that contradicts the first few theories but I haven’t ever met a woman who didn’t have her own set of double standards. Call me a chauvinist, but that is how I see it.
On the other hand I am a firm believer in a woman owning her orgasm so maybe I am a progressive chauvinist. I’ll make a note to ask Sheri and Pam about that one.