Einstein & His Theory of Relationshiptivity

Einstein Proves that Ann loves Jack

Einstein & His Theory of Relationshiptivity. I made this card a hundred years ago. It was part of a gift that I gave Ann for no particular reason other than because I loved her.

It was a nod towards her love of math and science as well as an inside joke between the two of us. I loved to remind her that love wasn’t based upon math or science. The heart wants what the heart wants and it doesn’t give a damn whether logic is involved.

Or maybe it does. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Brother Albert and the formula on his chalkboard proved that love was based upon science. It was/is worth thinking about.

I like science, not a huge fan of math but I like science. I enjoy knowing how things work and why they do. But I didn’t need medicine to tell me why just thinking about Ann could make parts of my anatomy respond. I already knew. I understood it on every level that I needed to understand it on.

It all worked until it didn’t and that was when I began to wonder if maybe it would be useful to learn more about what drives relationships. Yes, I confess that after we broke up I read a few books and listened to a few talks. It was all part of the grand plan to try and win her back.

But life happened. Things happened. And we didn’t so I forgot about Albert’s formula and the accompanying note in which I proved why we should be together. Forgot in part because you can’t make a relationship work when you are the only one who tries.

I didn’t have to interview Kim Boston or pay for a session with her to know that much. You can accuse me of being slow but I am not stupid.

Speaking of the unsinkable Ms. Boston I have to concede that she knows her stuff.  She did a fine job of illustrating all of the major reasons why marriage failed and a number of the things we could have done to stop the damage. But we did run into this silly little difference between men and women that created its own set of issues.

Women want to connect and then be intimate whereas men view the intimacy as connecting. This is probably not true of every man or woman but I am still a firm believer in the proven success of the blow job relationship model.

For those of you who are not familiar with this the rule is simple, Give more head and you’ll spend less time lying awake in bed worrying about why you don’t talk anymore.

I probably should have shared this with Ms. Boston. In fact I think suggesting that women own their orgasm and ours is a great idea. Maybe I ought to quit my job and go back to school to become a therapist.

Nah, I barely have the patience to listen to my problems let alone yours.

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