It is the home stretch and I am feeling a mix of exhaustion and exhilaration. Been almost ten years since I left home and started walking down this road and lord knows that I didn’t have a clue where it would lead me and what would take place.
This has been among the great journeys of my life and it has changed me in almost every way that I can think of. Some of them are good changes and some of them are things that I can’t quite categorize or identify yet. Don’t know if that makes a difference or not.
Don’t know a lot of things other than I am doing my damnedest to finish what I started. It is a mix of anger, hope, frustration, sadness and determination push me. It is an alloy of joy and something else that pushes me.
It is a million different things that won’t let me just lie down and quit. It is the memory of what was and the hope of what could be. It is the dream and the fantasy intermixed with the sticks and stones that make me move.
Remember what we said about it all starting with one kiss and how nothing would ever be the same. Remember the promises we made that somehow we would hold on and find a way. Well I might be crazy but I think that we still have that chance to make the change that matters.
And I know that you know what I am talking about. I hear your words and listen to the empty spaces in between. I ask for the chance to find out. I ask for the chance to learn together whether what was still is because to not ask would be wrong.
Sometimes I wonder if you fear taking that chance. Sometimes I wonder if you would rather roam the grapevines with me in pursuit than side by side because it feels safer to you. But I can still protect you from the storms. I can still guide you through the flames and the fire without fear of being burnt.
Close your eyes and tell me that you don’t see mine looking back at yours. Two souls….