Almost a decade has passed since the two heroes of our story first met. They met as friends, became lovers and then somewhere in the crazy chaos of life they got lost and their love affair ended.
At least they thought it had ended.
The end brought much stress and more than a little pain with each wondering how the other could have screwed things up so badly. In their efforts to protect their own hearts and take care of the other they managed to hurt each other…again.
It really wasn’t intentional. Neither one of them truly wanted to make the other feel anything but joy but sometimes this is how these things go. And with the advent of anger it made it much easier to say goodbye.
Made it easier to come up with lists of reasons why they couldn’t and shouldn’t be.
Jack was always slower to make big changes than Ann. In a way it was kind of funny because she was far more of a planner than he. It didn’t bother him to walk upon the razor’s edge the way that it bothered her, at least not in most things.
She was much more easy going about where to live and things of that nature because she always knew she would bloom wherever she was planted.
One night some years ago Ann made a crack about him being an old man and he responded by telling her that he would show how old he was by wearing her out. I suppose that in some respects you could consider that to be a sort of silly and immature reply.
But you have to remember that men have sex to feel close and women have to feel close to have sex.
Anyway, she smile and told him that he was welcome to try and so he did. Somewhere in the middle when her legs were over his shoulders she told him that women are made to give birth and that she wouldn’t break.
She didn’t say it to taunt or tease him. It was verbal permission to let go. It was her way of saying that she was giving herself to him and he understood it as such. It sounds like a silly cliche but that was when things really did move to a new level.
It was also when Jack realized that he hadn’t been imagining things. They understood each other in a way that he had never experienced. He saw her opening up like that as being among the sweetest and most loving things she had ever done. She wasn’t giving just her body away, she was giving herself.
And that gift was in many ways what he missed more than anything. That connection. He missed not knowing where he ended and she started.
Ann did too but she would never admit it. She was a woman who knew how to keep her secrets close to her heart where they were safe. She had told Jack that no one else had thrown her like he did. When he teased her and said that he had tamed her she had smiled and nodded her head. She liked it, wouldn’t say it out loud but she liked it.
She liked it because she was the rock that everyone else relied upon. She had long been the caretaker and there was more than a little relief in knowing that she could let her guard down and know that Jack was always there to catch her.
He was in many ways the biggest surprise of her life and certainly one of the greatest challenges. When she decided that it was time to end things she pushed him extra hard. She wasn’t entirely sure that she could live without him and it bothered her. It bothered her because in the past when she was done, she was done. She could look back at a relationship and smile but she didn’t have the need to get back together and break up a million times like so many of her friends did.
Jack never realized how hard it was for her to tell him to go. She did a good job of masking her feelings and when he didn’t catch her weakness she took it as a sign that maybe he didn’t know her as we all as she had thought he did. It was added to her list of reasons why they shouldn’t be together.
He didn’t catch it because he was in shock. He truly believed that they would never split and when he realized she was serious he was dumbfounded.
And yet all those years later he surprised her again by grabbing her hips from behind. Or maybe it is more accurate to say that she was surprised by the tingly sensation she felt when he grabbed her. If he had let go and made some sort of teasing comment she would have gone with it and pretended that it was a silly joke that two people who once knew each other sometimes do.
Except he hadn’t. She couldn’t tell you exactly how she ended up facing him or when she ended up on the bed. All she could say is that once it started time moved backwards and they both knew that something special was happening again.
When she asked him what made him decide to take a chance he simply smiled and said “I never bought what you were selling. I always knew that if we had our moment this would happen.”
“Honey, you took a real chance. I could have said no. I could have screamed. I could have done a million different things. What made you think you could do this and not get rejected.”
“Baby, I still know things. I know that you think your decisions are well thought out and based upon rational thought but not all of them are. No one really does that. I just knew that if we could get to this place it would work. It was logical.”