Heard this song today and thought about you. Wandered through old memories and wondered if there is a good reason for them to be dusty and locked away where they cannot feel sunlight nor look out at the moon.
The moon always makes me think of you…and us.
A thousand years ago when I roamed through the woods of our kingdom and served as your knight I told you that if we were ever apart all you had to do was look at the sky and know that I would look at the moon too and we would be connected.
I remember holding your hand and how listening to you breathe would help me fall asleep. There was a rhythmic quality to it. Sometimes you would drift off before I did and I would stare at your face and smile.
Occasionally you would catch me doing so and ask me why I was smiling and I wouldn’t answer. My silence was always intentional. I knew that it bugged you and I used it as a way to tease you. But I knew that you knew that this was precisely why I did so.
I knew these things and many more. The little details were the often the things that I knew best about you. And now so many years later I wonder if they are still the same or if some have changed.
Some have to be the same. The way you brushed your hair and silently counted the strokes. The lists you made and the look on your face when you could cross things off.
Yes, I teased you about those too. Told you that you were anal, rigid and regimented. Told you that there was far more in the world than math and science and laughed because you would give me this look like I was crazy. It didn’t take you long to figure out when I was messing with you.
Didn’t take you long to come up with your things to tease me about.
Man oh man woman, where did it fall apart for us and why did we let it happen. How did we find ourselves in this place. When did you lock yourself in the castle and leave me to look for you upon the ramparts.
You know that every day I visit the walls and look for you. I have grown accustomed to seeing you standing there in silence. Grown used to seeing you looking at me.
We make eye contact and more often than not you smile. Sometimes when you aren’t so guarded I see that smile that I always used to get and I know that if I could just get to you things would be different.
And I know that when you have tried to chase me off it hasn’t ever been because you really wanted to. If that was the case I would never see you on the castle walls. I haven’t yet figured out what that means, if it means anything at all.
It is a puzzle for sure but I have refused to give up because something compels me to continue. Maybe it is because you made me promise to love you with all of the passion and ferocity I have inside. Maybe it is because there is something romantic about storming the castle and that attracts me.
Or maybe it is because I am the kind of fool who will risk much for the great reward.
Right or wrong I will end my days knowing that I tried and that will have to be enough. But I don’t expect that to be for many years and much can happen.
In the interim look at our moon and remember that when you think of me I am thinking of you.