Building a Future

The 198,383th time I heard that pride goeth before a fall I made a face and pretended to hang myself. Blame it upon the arrogance of youth.

I hadn’t yet learned that life has a way of humbling us and that it was the sort of education that wasn’t very pleasant.

You see I fell in love with a girl and I loved her fiercely. I loved her madly. I loved her passionately. I loved her in every way that the poets wrote of, spoke of and dreamed of.

I loved her with all of my heart and all of my soul. I loved her desperately and somewhere in that madness I lost her.

We were much younger then and no one could have predicted that things would go as they did. I wasn’t her type and she wasn’t mine. Not unlike so many other couples on paper we had everything in common and nothing in common.

I can’t tell you if there are soul mates or things are meant to be but I can say that if there is a master chemist they created the perfect mix of magic. It wasn’t just because there was a ridiculous amount of lust but because we liked each other.

++++++

It is just before dawn and we are lying in bed. My flight leaves in five hours. In a few minutes you’ll wake up and we’ll engage in some early morning exercise.

Midway through my shower you’ll join me and try to convince me not to leave. I’ll look down and we’ll make eye contact and I’ll think I am crazy to leave, but I’ll force myself to be strong.

“I love you baby, but I can’t pass this up. I have to give it a shot and I can’t ask you to wait for me.”

Tears well in her eyes and she tells me that it is a mistake. She says that I should wait a bit longer and she’ll be able to come with me.

I smile and hug her.

“I want to get things started. It is for our future.”

She nods her head but I miss the look in her eyes. This isn’t her being understanding. She has already decided that if I insist on going she will too. She is ready to build a life and wants to start now.

Years later I see clearly what I missed then. The future I wanted to build disintegrated that day.

I made a mistake.

This is part of Yeah Write #70

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Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , | 24 Comments

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24 thoughts on “Building a Future

  1. RUT ROH! Ok I’m ready for part two.

  2. raisingivy

    Oh break my heart! This is so fabulous! I’m extremely happily married and still you have managed to fill me with vague, wistful regret. Well done. (And I like the shifting verb tenses, too.)

    • TheJackB

      Thank you. I think this is the sort of universal topic that most people can relate to. There is that curiosity about the road not taken.

  3. This is so fantastic. I often wondered if guys had second thoughts about relationships and the way they turned out! Really fantastic writing!

    • TheJackB

      I can assure you that men do have second thoughts. We might not always share them, but it happens. I have been part of more than a few discussions about this.

  4. I liked the shifting verb tenses too. I definitely want more. Fun to read this.

  5. Yes, yes, I am curious too.

  6. ooooh i really loved this. very emotional, raw, and powerful. great job!

  7. I adored this! So well expressed and written!

    But why, oh why, did you leave?! I, like everyone else, would like to read the follow-up 🙂

  8. wcdameron

    Well done Jack, truly. “The future I wanted to build disintegrated that day.” How perfect is that line?

    • TheJackB

      Thank you. Every now and then we come up with lines that really work. I have to admit I am proud of that one.

  9. Oh, I want to know more of this story. I hope you finish it one day….
    And, I hope you found the woman who makes you happy.

    Amy

  10. What happens next?!

  11. Wow.
    Just wow.
    This was so raw and real. You’re right when you said that it’s a universal topic. Everyone fights their own battle between the “what-ifs”, no matter how happy they are now.

    Your last line though?
    Killer. Great post!

    • TheJackB

      I think the people who are happiest are the ones who don’t let the “what ifs” get in the way of their lives.

  12. Was sad when this post ended. What happened?

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