Johnny pulled June into his arms, pushed her hair off of her hair and started whispering.
“I can’t hear what you are saying, why are you whispering? No one else is here.”
“I want you to focus all of your attention on me. You are busy wondering and worrying about everything. Be present”
She pulled her head back, looked him in the eye and giggled.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something in my teeth? You are making me nervous.”
He cocked his head to the side and stayed silent.
“Tell me what you are looking at?”
She pulled away and walked towards the bathroom but before she could get there he grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards him. Still holding her hand he sat on the couch and pulled her onto his lap.
“I am too big. I’ll crush you.”
He put a finger over his lips and shushed her.
She smiled and he smiled back.
He wrapped his fingers in her hair and gently pulled her to him. A quick kiss on the lips and then he moved back to her ear, whispering again.
“June, you can relax now. It is safe. Trust me. Straddle me.”
“Isn’t there a more romantic way of doing this. That sounded a lot like an order.”
It is. Now stop complaining and straddle me. I want to feel your legs wrapped around me.”
She started to say something but saw the look in his eyes and stopped.
He surprised her when he stood up but she kept her legs locked around him.
“Junebug, you are weightless to me. I can walk around all day like this.”
She couldn’t help but smile.
“I am not weightless, but I get your point. Can you put me down now.”
“I can put you anywhere I want to. You are not in control now, but neither am I. I keep trying to tell you that we can’t control life, all we do is manage it.”
“Ok, I see that you are managing to walk into the bedroom with me. What do you think you are doing.”
“That is not really a question, now is it. I am going to put you in my bed and then I am going to climb in next to you.”
“Johnny, I thought we agreed about this. Why do you ignore me?
“Baby, I never ignore you but sometimes I go with my gut.”
“I think this time you are listening to something below it.”
“Maybe I am, or maybe not. We are going to sleep now.”
She giggled, “I don’t believe you.
He made a point not to respond, silently noting that she slipped into his arms and that she was the one who reached behind her to pull his body tight against hers.
He kissed her shoulders and stroked her hair.
“Get some sleep baby, we need to rest.”
She laughed, I would but it feels like part of you is wide awake.
“Take it as a compliment, now shh…I want to sleep.”
He felt her gradually start to relax and listened carefully to her breathing. He knew she was expecting him to make a pass but he had already decided that he wasn’t going to because that was what she expected.
There was no pressure or rush in his mind. He was already convinced that if he wanted to take that next step she would do so. Of course she would tell him that she didn’t think it was a good idea right now. She would give him several reasons why they shouldn’t. She would be gentle about it and say she didn’t want to hurt him.
He was certain she meant those things and certain that fear was what was stopping her from taking things further. It wouldn’t be there first time so there wasn’t any uncertainty about that. Two weeks before he had told her that he was certain he was the best lover she had ever had and then she had told him that men always say those things.
“Some men say those things. I don’t but I can with you. I know you better than any of the others and I know that you trust me more which is exactly why I am better. You are more willing to just let go and that is the secret.”
She rolled her eyes at him but that didn’t hide the smile.
“June, if you don’t stop wiggling I am not going to be able to sleep. That is not fair.”
“Do you really think I don’t know your plan. You are not as slick as you think you are.”
“Ok, if that is how you want to play it, I am game.”
“Mister, what do you think your hand is doing there?”
“It is not what it is doing now that matters, it is what it might be doing…later”
He made a point to snap the elastic on her panties, rolled over the other direction and said “good night.”
“Hey, where did you go?”
This time she was the one pulling him towards her.