The Past Leads To The Present

 

June looked at Johnny and asked him if he really meant all that he said, but the real question lay beneath her words. She wanted to know how badly she had hurt him and if he had really recovered.

It made her ache all over to think of how she had made him suffer and she wondered why he hadn’t let go. There had been a time not long before where she had wondered about his sanity and asked herself if he lacked self esteem because she couldn’t understand why he hadn’t gone elsewhere.

“I don’t deserve you. I didn’t deserve all this. Why?”

He shook his head and shushed her.

“Sometimes you are an idiot. You know better. You know what I said and what I promised. Some things don’t require any more explanation than that, but if you must know, the answer is that I know things.”

She rolled her eyes again, “you know that I hate that. You could have just as easily been wrong. That is the kind of boneheaded remark people say when they can’t use fact.”

He laughed again.

“You want facts? Ok, here are the facts. I told you I would get you back. I told you that you were still in love with me. I told you that you would sleep with me. I told you that people don’t always act logically or rationally which explains your entire life, that and the fact that you are female.”

She shook her head and smiled.

“Yeah, I know. You are dying to tell me I am wrong, to get the last word but you can’t this time. You can’t because I am right and you love that I am right. You love that I didn’t give up. You love that I called your bluff and you love that for the first time in years you remember what it feels like to be in love.

We are different, you and I. When things fell apart you shut down and I went to my own place. The difference is that instead of going numb like you did I danced in the damn fire. That is not a judgment call, it is just how we are and that is ok. You don’t really appreciate things or people until they are gone.”

He watched her bite her lip and turn her head.

“Hey, you don’t have to do that anymore. You don’t have to hide your pain or carry the load by yourself. I am here.”

When she walked into his arms he felt her inhale and then sigh deeply. One hand stroked her hair and the other was pressed firmly in the middle of her back.

“Don’t think, don’t talk. just take the moment for what it is. I am not worried about the time we lost or who did what. Just stop thinking about it all, you can’t control any of it any more than I can. What is gone is gone but now we have a second chance, up to us what we make of it”

“Johnny, if you don’t shut up you are going to miss your opportunity and there won’t be any second chances to be together today.”

He smiled and laughed.

“Gee June, that is the most romantic thing I have ever heard.”

“Oh please, I am in love with the master of spin. How many times have you tried to convince me that a ‘quickie’ is the prelude to romance.’

“June, I am hurt, terribly hurt. Here I am trying to be sensitive to your schedule and you throw it at me. That is it, I am withholding my favors from you.”

“Well John, I guess that we’ll both have to suffer.’

“Damn you and that wicked smile June, that is not fair. I know you want this as much as I do.”

She smiled coyly at him, “care to test that theory, baby?”

“Nah, I don’t want you to be disappointed, but let’s get something clear, I am only giving in because I don’t you to be disappointed later.”

An hour later he woke up and watched her fix her hair.

“It is a good thing you didn’t disappoint me John, you know how much I hate that.”

“Damn, am I going to have to listen to you tease me about that forever.”

She just smiled and walked into the bathroom.

“Damn, I guess I am, but I suppose she is worth it.”

He made a point to say the last few words loudly enough for her to hear, but she didn’t respond and he never did find out if her silence was intentional or coincidence.

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