The Bed

Rolled over in bed and reached out but my hand didn’t find you. Eyes closed I moved over, expected to feel my hand against your hip, but I didn’t.

Moved some more and expected to find a hand or leg but didn’t and then held still. Eyes still closed I listened and waited for the sound of a toilet flushing, water running and your footsteps leading you back to bed.

Smiled as I thought about how I would pull you against me and bury my face in your hair. Anticipated you complaining about my not letting you go back to sleep and then realized that all I heard was silence and the sound of my own breathing.

You weren’t here and you weren’t there.

Reached out and pulled a pillow in to my chest, pretended it was you, told the pillow I loved it and then called it frigid. Muttered to myself something about how frightening it would be if the pillow answered and then laughed.

Even though you weren’t there I could still feel you, smell you and I knew that somewhere you were thinking about me too. Closed my eyes again and told the morning air I would see you again…soon.

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