This Is Home Now

“This is home now. This is where I live and where I work.

Everything has changed and nothing has changed.

There is a fog obscuring the view and my perspective is blurred and my head uncertain.”

I Am Here

There was a time when you never would have heard me say I have faith in the intangibles because I wasn’t open to it. I wanted to be, but too much had happened to make me  think there was more than I could see.

But that was then and this is now.

My eyes were opened because I saw possibility turn into opportunity. Lightning struck the earth but I wasn’t burned or heart by it, at least not in the conventional sense. It ripped the blinders off of me and forced me to look at things I hadn’t wanted to consider.

And now I look back and realize it wasn’t a profound change that took place over night because it took time. Took far longer than I might have ever guessed and now I need to go back so that I can go forward.

Truth is that is how I ended moving into a storm that I could see in the distance but what I never realized was that it was a monster. Distracted and lost in other thoughts it didn’t occur to me that the reason I could see it from so far was because it was my very own Leviathan.

Seems so obvious now, but then it just didn’t.

And now I know things I never did before because when you let yourself be exposed you cannot not see these things. Even if your eyes are open you still might not recognize all of the parts and pieces because you don’t want to give in to something you can’t touch or hold on to.

But if you do you might find yourself in limbo because you know you cannot stay where you are but you can’t always move into the future as quickly as you might want to.

Sometimes all you can do is stand where you are and do what is required to transition. I firmly believe that but life has proven quite adept at taking my beliefs and playing with them so who knows.

Still a man needs a goal and he needs a plan. I have both.

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