I Know What You Need


Sometimes I wonder if I can say it any better than I did in the third link. I could copy it all and repeat it and I know you would read it again…twice.

Twice because you look for the details because they help you figure out your plan so that you can build your checklist of things to do. I smile every time I think about that because it is you and you make me smile.

Once you told me no one could ever take better care of me. You said if I ever got my head out of my ass you’d prove it to me

Sometimes I think about feeding those words back to you and I laugh because they are as true when I say them as when you do. That is because sometimes in life you find a person who carries your heart in the palm of their hand and whose presence always soothes your soul.

I stopped trying to figure out why it happened as it has just as I stopped trying to figure out how it all works because I know what you like and what you need.


These are not words spoken from bravado. They are said quietly, plainly, humbly. They are words I believe in because when you carry someone’s heart in your hand you damn well better understand and know.

And you better understand it doesn’t mean you can’t ever hurt, offend or upset that person because your insight and your privilege makes it easier than any other to do those things.

But it also means you have a gift that you can use to help heal their heart.

And a gift you can share to help build a life that is more together than it is apart.


I promised to be your knight and your protector. I promised to be your best friend and your lover. I told you that when you were sad I would kiss your tears away and rock you to sleep.

I did and I am.

Red dress, blue dress- it doesn’t matter because I don’t just love you. I fucking love you.

(Ho!) So show me family
(Hey!) All the blood that I would bleed
(Ho!) I don’t know where I belong
(Hey!) I don’t know where I went wrong
(Ho!) But I can write a song



I remember the flight home, the tram ride back to the car and the drive from the airport. Silly disagreement, passion turns to anger turns to sweet looks and soft eyes over sushi.

Hall Johnson, 183 and a short ride later collapsed in bed smiling just because.

The news about leaving. The discussion about what comes next and the promise to return.

I know where home lies and with who.

Time is a fickle bitch.

Expands and contracts like some kind of crazy accordion.




One heartbeat.


Confidence that what isn’t tangible is real and that what can’t be seen can be believed.

One kiss restores faith and erases doubt.

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