Compliment and Complement

This will be tied into what was written here.

He liked to tease her about wearing her out in the bedroom because many years before she had made an off hand remark that it would never happen.

“I am not like these other girls. I love sex and I am not going to just turn you down to make a point. I don’t use sex as a weapon because I would only be hurting myself and you.”

He remembered laughing and telling her that it was ok because he would say no.

Shock rolled across her face and then she began to laugh.

“You are a guy. You would never turn me down.”

When he told her she had an ego she had sputtered for a moment and tried to explain but he laughed and she realized he was just messing with her.

Later on he told her he loved her and said he liked sex too much to turn it down and looked forward to wearing her out. She laughed and told him she didn’t have a man’s refractory period and said he would tire out long before she did.

In some ways that conversation felt like it had happened during a different life to different people and yet it felt like yesterday. It reminded him that when he thought about his girl it was always in a context of timelessness.

The song they sang together wasn’t one that ever ended. There were moments where it played more forcefully than others and moments when you had to listen carefully to catch any of the notes but the music never stopped.


He thought about how once she had said that she never fought with anyone the way she fought with him. He knew she believed it but he knew exactly how to respond and so he pointed out the context of their disagreements.

“We never fight about anything that has real substance or is truly serious. We have silly fights that only come from frustration and most of the time we aren’t really frustrated with each other. We are frustrated about other things and it just comes out. You and I complement each other in so many ways.”

She had smiled at him and asked him to be specific about whether he was referring to compliment or complement.

“You know I think you are sexy and beautiful and as soon as we finish talking I am going to take you.”

“Do you really mean that?

“You know I do and you know that I really believe we complement each other. I truly think that for whatever reason we are capable of bringing the best in each other out. When you are upset who do you want to talk to about whatever it is that is bothering you.”

She had nodded her head, taken his hand and pulled him into the bedroom.


Sometimes he wondered why he hadn’t realized that sooner. He’d sit back in his chair look at the ceiling and mutter out loud that he wouldn’t find any answers there or splattered on the wall.

And then he’d ask himself if they had any real sense of what they were capable of together. It sounded sort of goofy but he spelled it out for himself.

‘If you guys really love each other the way you think you do and you both just let go how much more could you accomplish? How much could you do if you had complete faith in your partner to watch your back and catch you if you fell. What would you do if you knew they would always be there for the rest of our life.’

The thing was they couldn’t answer that question right now and he knew that. He thought it was likely that one day they would find out but when that day would be was something he couldn’t answer.

If you asked her now she’d probably not be so optimistic. She’d say she would rather be pleasantly surprised than disappointed and he’d tell you that he didn’t work like that.

But then he’d point out that he saw that as being tied into how they complemented each other. It was like they brought balance to where the other was off kilter.

And then he’d think about wrapping her up in his arms and asking her if there was ever a time those arms didn’t make her feel safe.

Compliment and Complement–it just worked for them.

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