Expectations

“No matter where you go
I will find you
In the place with no frontiers
No matter where you go
I will find you
If it takes a thousand years”

Some people might say I am crazy.  Some might say I have no reason to hold on and to walk through deserts or climb mountains but I have never been real good at listening to what others say.

You might tell me I am not good at listening to anyone and you might point out that I never paid attention to you telling me to get lost either. I’d probably agree with you and say it is true. I didn’t and I haven’t listened.

Maybe it is foolish to listen to my heart and to ignore my head. Blame it on the bells I hear inside my head. Blame it on that overwhelming feeling I get of connection and belief you tried to push me away because you thought it was the right thing to do and not because you wanted to.

Call it the romantic inside that says we have one of the great love stories and that sometimes those only materialize because people were willing to work hard for it. I never feared the hard work or believed that instant gratification was the only way to get to that next place. You and I have our paths and sometimes they haven’t intersected the way we wanted them to.

But that has never made me believe that was enough to walk away and ignore the bells. I don’t fear challenge. I don’t fear dragons, demons or burning rivers.

We are older than we once were and the time that we lost during the empty season won’t ever be recovered but we know how quickly we resumed our places that time has no meaning for us. We could be separated for a million years and it would take nothing more than our hands brushing against each other to remind us of who we are.

And the memories of those past moments intersect in my head with moments that haven’t yet come. It might sound hokey, ridiculous and or like a silly cliche but I believe there is a future for us. I could draw it on a napkin or tell the story here and perhaps I already have.

I manage my expectations. Have always been good about that, about focusing on what I knew and had control of but sometimes you have to let go of control and just run with the moon.

Every time I do that good things happen. When I close my eyes I can see you looking back at me.

I don’t share all of my thoughts or say all I see because sometimes I like to keep things close to the vest but I can picture a time when we are together and that doesn’t happen because when you are with the person that fills those empty spaces…

Maybe I am crazy, but I think we did and we do and we will.

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