Protecting His Heart

One day she asked him if he remembered how he said he was going to protect his heart and he said yes.

“What happened to my tough guy, where was the hard ass who made me fall in love with him?”

He looked up and at her eyes and when he saw she was serious he smiled.

“That guy tried to stick around. He copied someone we both know and made a list of reasons why he should stay away and then he didn’t. Didn’t stay angry, didn’t stay away, he just didn’t…”

This time she watched his eyes and saw he wasn’t messing with her. It was a real response.

“But baby, what would have happened if you hadn’t chased me? What would have happened if you hadn’t ignored me and had just let me go?”

“Oh I let you go many times, the same way you let me go. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to just hang around waiting to see if you would change your mind. I said I would pay attention to what you did and if you did things that proved you were serious about there never being a future I would walk.”

Her eyes widened and narrowed and for a moment she was silent. When she realized how hard he was staring at her she blushed.

“Sometimes you see right through me, it makes me uncomfortable.”

He laughed.

“We see through each other. I told you a million times that there is something else here. I stopped trying to explain or control it, I just sort of go with it. Reminds me of sailing and the way the ocean moves the boat. You can’t stop the water from doing what it is going to do but you can try to manage it.

We were always happier when we were in contact than when we weren’t. I always knew that and I was certain that if I made it clear that you could contact me you would but that I wasn’t going to just chase you when you were so distracted.”

“Oh and you weren’t ever distracted now were you.”

He rolled his eyes at her and laughed.

“We had our moments but we always found our way. It is impossible not to notice that someone out there seems to be the sole person you can’t stay angry with and that they fill the empty spaces.

*****

That conversation had taken place so long ago it was hard to remember that it had really happened. She had asked him if they were addicted to each other again and had told him they were inextricably linked and yet they were apart.

He shrugged his shoulders and went about his business. There were a million things to do before the sun went down and he had to attend to other responsibilities.

Yet every time he looked out of his window he saw an early rising moon sitting in the late afternoon sky. They had always talked about the moon being theirs and truth was that when he saw it he almost always thought of her but it was rare those thoughts came during the day.

And yet now the sky was filled with both the sun and the moon. Two celestial objects that were similar yet different, not quite the same as men and women but…

For a moment he thought about her and wondered what she was doing. Been a long time since they had a real conversation. That hadn’t been his choice but he figured he wasn’t going to spend time chasing her. He was done with that and then he snorted.

Even he didn’t completely believe that but he wasn’t going to volunteer that to her. Just in case he was wrong he needed to protect his heart.

Still under a sky in which the moon and sun were neighbors it was hard not to believe that there was some magic left in the world.

And as we walked back inside he heard some whispering in the wind and though he knew immediately what it was he heard he filed it away for there was work to be done and that sort of thought was best saved for the night.

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