Playing Our Song

Man oh man, I heard our song tonight. It wasn’t on the radio or an iPod, it was inside my head and though you couldn’t see me I was dancing.

I closed my eyes and I saw you enter the room and it was breathtaking.

Watched you glide right by a couple of guys and wondered if somehow I could show you the reflection in my eyes. Wondered how I could show you what I see when I look at you, to let you know that you are not just beautiful, your magical.

And then I saw myself dance and wondered how a man can be so graceful in his dreams and yet so clumsy in reality.

Pictured myself taking you by the hand and watched us start dancing together, smiled as I watched our feet leave the ground and wondered what sort of magic made it possible for us to levitate.

Smiled because I knew it was us.

That magnetic pull that we always feel when we are close pulled us in tight and you held on to me and I onto you and love lifted us higher and higher.

I watched us soar closer to the sun than we had ever been and where once I might have worried we would be like Icarus and fall to the earth that fear was gone because we had done it together. We had moved heaven and earth, touched the face of god and defeated the bonds of gravity.

And in the midst of our dance angels separated us and flew us towards separate corners. It took a moment for us to realize what was happening, lost in joy and kvelling in a minute that lasted forever we didn’t recognize that our flight was no longer powered by us.

When I realized I couldn’t see your face any more I struggled with that angel, wrestled as Jacob had once done. Though I wasn’t able to force him to take me back to you I was able to make him set me down, much closer than he had intended to leave me yet still a world away.

One finger touched my lip and tried to rob me of the memory of you but I fought him again.

I knew what had been and what could be.

“Child, I do this for your your own good. It is too late child. She won’t know you. She won’t remember you. Don’t take this burden on, let me ease your pain.”

I told him it didn’t matter and said I would storm the gates of heaven or march straight into hell if I had to. Swore an oath that made his wings quiver and caused him to back away.

“If it wasn’t for your interference I wouldn’t have a burden nor pain.”

He simply nodded his head and then he disappeared.

I was alone, more so than I could remember being. Alone and apart I felt an ache and an emptiness that brought me to my knees.

Might been minutes or it might been months before I stood again but when I did I had mastered the pain. The ache and the emptiness were still there but that feeling that I couldn’t move was gone.

One step led to another and I set off to restore that which had been broken. I don’t know how long I wandered through that wilderness feeling cut off and lost but there came a time when I could hear you singing.

I didn’t know where it came from but I knew that given time I would find it and I would find you. Somewhere in the distance between who we once were and who we could still be I’d find you and then I’d learn if the angel had truly wiped your memory clean.

Some people would have given up. Some would have accepted what they heard or had been told but I wasn’t them and never would be.

Because I never forgot our song. Never forgot what it was like to float through space with you and to know things for no other reason than just because I did.

Every day I took one step closer towards finding out whether magic truly transcends time and space. One step closer towards finding out if a man’s memory was as flawed and broken as some suggested or if it was more than that.

Don’t know when that day might come but I do know that tonight I heard our song playing and I saw us dancing.

And in my dreams you said you loved me and told me to come find you…so I did.

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