She asked him if he had driven past her house and he said no he never did. Her eyes narrowed and she asked him if he was certain and he laughed.
“You live on a Cul-de-sac so even if I had chosen to go by I wouldn’t have.”
“Why is that?
“Because I wouldn’t want to have bumped into you. I wasn’t entirely certain whether I wanted to talk to you or not and going by might have taken certain choices out of my hands.”
He knew from the look on her face she wasn’t certain whether to believe him or not but he didn’t respond because there was no reason to. He had been around the neighborhood but never by the house and every time he had been through the area had been for other reasons.
At best you could have suggested there were lots of other Targets to visit but then again it wasn’t ridiculous to hit one that was close to the airport and on your way home either.
When you are really tired and have to shop it sometimes makes sense to just do what you have to first so that you can home.
In this case it meant grabbing some toiletries and essentials at Target and a pizza at Double Dave’s because he knew that when he finished shlepping his stuff upstairs he’d be too tired to go out again and too hungry to just fall asleep.
Had she really pushed him he might have told her about how many times he had driven by on the freeway and mentioned how he never took the exit that would have put him in the neighborhood because most of the time there was no real reason for him to be over there.
It was kind of funny because for months he hoped he would magically run into her but at the same time he wanted to do it when he felt like he was established and not off center as he felt during the early days.
One time he thought he saw her in a grocery store down in his neck of the woods and had practically jumped out of his skin with surprise. He had intentionally doubled timed it around the corner and then slowly walked back where he could look down the aisle and discovered it wasn’t her.
Hell, it didn’t even really look like her. He remembered muttering “I am not going to miss you” and then shaking his head because the way his heart was pounding it was obvious he did.
“Can you explain how this happened? I never believed it would or that we would be together.”
“Do you know that song “Wichita Lineman?”
“Of course. I don’t listen to horrible music like you do.”
“Actually you listen to some pretty awful shit, but I don’t mention it all the time like you do.”
He heard her suck in a mouthful of air and laughed.
“Air sucker, you kill me. Just hold that thought for a moment.”
“That is so rude, I can’t believe you just said that to me.”
“No what is rude is my saying I should stick something in your mouth so that I can speak uninterrupted.”
“You are so slow, get to the point.”
“You are lucky your eyes sparkle like that when you smile. Every time I drove anywhere close I always felt like I could hear you ‘singin in the wire.’ Hell, even when I wasn’t close half the time I just felt you. Nothing has ever changed that, I always feel you.”
“Aww, that is so sweet.”
“Actually there are moments where I don’t feel you, where it feels like the cord was cut and then your absence is palpable. Don’t know what that is about, but it never lasts. You always come back. That probably sounds weird or strange to you, but there is something to it. I always feel you.”
Felt like it had been a thousand years and ten thousand miles since that conversation.
They had spent hours catching up on things they had missed and shared the few secrets they hadn’t shared and the canyon between them had disappeared.
Individually and collectively they had remarked upon the feelings of transformation and the sense that something had changed. What had been fantasy had turned to fact and the reality of it made them smile all the wider.
“You know if you left I would have coronary. You are mine forever now.”
He laughed again.
“You are nuts. I always was.”
“And always will be” she added.
He had been driving for hours with no particular place to go and no time to be anywhere.
They hadn’t talked in forever and hadn’t see each other in longer. But though they didn’t have any verbal or physical contact some things never changed.
He could hear her ‘singing in the wires.’ Some days it was stronger than others and like always there were moments where it felt like that particular string was cut but it always came back.
It was like there was silence for a brief moment and then the singing announced her return and she was back.
That invisible telephone line between them always made him believe they’d see each other again. There wasn’t any logical or scientific reason behind it.
He just did and he always figured she did too, even if she said otherwise.
For the moment none of it really mattered because she was there and he was here just driving with no particular place to go, no destination in mind.
Could end up at the beach, could end up at the desert or in the mountains. Didn’t matter to him where it was as long as it helped him clear his head so that he could fix all of the broken crap in his life or at least try to.
There were other ways to spend a Sunday afternoon, more interesting and more fun but for the moment this would do.