Some days he felt like the phantom of the opera and some days he felt like Johnny wooing June.
Most of the time he preferred being Johnny because he liked the outcome better. He always felt kind of silly saying or writing those kinds of things.
Felt foolish talking about how he figured if he could sing he would serenade her with All I Ask Of You and Ring of Fire so he just didn’t mention those things.
Made life easier to focus on what he could do and not what he couldn’t.
One day in the midst of feeling frustrated by all of the crap he was dealing with he felt like he could hear her asking him why he never called her his Pepper Pike anymore and he let out a snicker.
He wasn’t sure what made him think of that or where it came from but he really didn’t care because it reminded him of a time when all they did was laugh.
So he spent a few moments lost in thought and recounted other names and fond memories and eventually he wound up touching some of the darker moments and discovered something.
The darker moments and hard times they had been through didn’t bother him the way they once had. It made him scratch his head and for a moment he wondered if that meant he didn’t feel anything.
Didn’t take but a second to confirm it wasn’t because he didn’t feel anything but because he felt so much. It was illogical and irrational but he couldn’t help but think those hard moments were part of the reason he felt ok.
Felt ok because they had gone through hell and some how found their way to the other side.
So he figured if they could do that all would find its way to where it was going.
The funniest thing of all to him was how he knew that he believed as he did only because of what they had experienced.
If he had read about it on a book or seen it on a movie he would have rolled his eyes and called it fiction. He would have made fun of anyone who did the things they did and acted as he had because it was ridiculous.
But experience had changed him and proven that sometimes ridiculous made sense. Ultimately it didn’t matter to him if anyone else believed or disbelieved because it wasn’t their story to be concerned with.
Later that night he walked under a cloud obscured moon humming the songs he wouldn’t sing and wondered if somewhere not so far away she was singing them too.