Fresh Starts

1000 miles away
Never thought or expected to find myself in the places or positions I have been in. Never thought I’d be the guy in the handcuffs or the one who was thrown through a plate glass window.

A thousand years ago, in a land a million miles from here I would have been pretty pleased to say that I didn’t just get up afterwards. I brushed off the glass and walked through the hold I had created and took care of the guy that had done it.

Not sure who was more surprised, him or me.

Actually, I do know the answer to that question.

He was, at least in that particular moment in time because he never expected I’d be willing or capable of doing what I did. But that’s the thing about me, I am not good at giving up or lying down to take a beating.

I am always the one who wades into the middle of the storm for no other reason than because I can.

You can blame me for many things, blame me for putting myself in positions I shouldn’t be in or doing things I shouldn’t do. I won’t fight you on that account, won’t fight you for saying that sometimes I have been my own worst enemy because it is true.

But I have always been my greatest hero because I had to be that. Had to be my best advocate because no one else would do it or the few that tried didn’t earn my trust.

Long ago I built the walls that cover my heart and ward my soul and they have rarely been breached. Now I tend to the gardens that surround them and go about my business.

Once I was told I was a fool for being like this. Once I was told I should open up and take a chance and I did.

For a long while it was better than expected and stronger than I could have anticipated. And then it was over.

It left a deep channel in its passing, like the tail of a meteor flying across the sky it came and went. Bright and shiny, filled with warmth and then nothing but a faded memory.

For a while I chased it and wandered over hill and dale in search of signs that would lead me back to it but somewhere along the way as the trail grew cold I felt the ice move inwards and decided there was no point in fighting that.

Somewhere between the moment I went through the window and the one in which I came back I recognized the old familiar sting and realized I still feel things and then I swept it away.

Didn’t want or need the distraction and I did what I do best…wreaked havoc and unleashed a bit of destruction upon a person and a place.

The cuffs came later and so did a few other less than pleasant things but I got back up. Got back up and did what I needed to do and that was how it went.

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