Was listening to some songs and thinking about how sometimes we hurt those we care the most about and how it just happens.
Just happens sounds so cavalier and unfeeling but sometimes it is the most accurate description of how some things happen.
It is not because of intent or any sort of desire that it takes place but because life places us in untenable positions and we are fallible creatures who find our best isn’t always enough.
And sometimes when we hurt each other we hold onto the hurt not because we want to but because we don’t know how to have to the conversation we want to.
Sometimes the conversation is stalled because we fear hurting the other person and sometimes it is because we fear to acknowledge our own feelings.
Because sometimes we hide from a reality that we know will force us to make hard choices that send our worlds spinning.
Yet there comes a time when we have to reach out and say we are sorry for it all. That we want to take away the hurt and the pain but can’t change the past. We can only go forwards and do our best not to repeat things.
That we would take their hand and look them in the eye while we said it if we could. We’d give them a big hug and move on into the future.
Sometimes that happens.
Sometimes life makes room for opportunities such as this and sometimes we make room for opportunities.
Anyway, I am sorry for the pain. I am sorry for any mistrust. I am just sorry.
Don’t know what comes next if anything, but couldn’t consider it without apologizing.