Forty Different Ways

And it starts like this:

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face is the song that I wanted to write for you. It is the song that I should write for you and maybe one day I shall. It is not an exaggeration to say that you are the song of my heart and that when you left it went silent.

I promised to be your knight and your protector. I promised to be your best friend and your lover. I told you that when you were sad I would kiss your tears away and rock you to sleep.

And I was and I did.

Some might suggest that it makes me less of a man to ask you to give me your hand again. Some might say that I give you too much power by doing so but I don’t think that is so. Maybe it is because I once tamed your heart and touched your soul. Maybe it is because I know that you remember how we learned together how to love and live more deeply than ever before.

Or maybe it is for none of those reasons. Maybe it is for all of those reasons. I really don’t spend much time thinking about how and why because this is not a math problem or some sort of scientific formula that must be followed or needs to be answered.

If I had to answer the question I would tell you to shut up and kiss me. Stop thinking and do. And when you did you would remember and you would know.

You would know that love is wild and that love is real. You would know that sometimes it is like standing in the eye of the storm. Everywhere you look there is wind, rain and lightning, except for that one place that we are standing together holding hands.

And sometimes you find yourself standing inside the storm and find yourself searching for shelter but if you can hold on long enough you always find it in the same place it was before.

Red dress, blue dress- it doesn’t matter because I don’t just love you. I fucking love you.

So here we are in the places we stand today farther apart than ever before and still as close as we once were. For it wouldn’t take but a moment for us to remember who we are apart and who we are together. It wouldn’t take but one kiss for our souls to soar and our hearts to surrender.

Sooner or later we shall put intellect aside and surrender to the point, purpose and passion that never left us. It may have gone dormant but not dead. Give it some water and sunshine and its petals will open wide and bloom as brightly as they ever have.

Come let me love you again and let’s resume our journey together. There is still much time and more than a few adventures to be had.

More Than A Memory

No one was more surprised at how things turned out.

I couldn’t have ever predicted we would meet or what would happen once we did.

It wasn’t just lust and it wasn’t just love. It was chemical, it was pheromones.

It was magic.

Unexpected and unplanned we turned life upside down and inside out.

Most of the memories are the kind that you can’t share because they are things that can only be appreciated and understood if experienced.

I don’t know how we found and lost each other and it feels foolish to say it happened more than once.

Hell, I can’t believe I found you once and lost you twice. Can’t understand or wrap my brain around how it all happened.

I just know there was life before you and life after you, expect after feels a whole lot emptier.

Sometimes I look outside my window and think about how lightning struck twice and how just when I thought you were gone we found each other again.

Meeting you obviously wasn’t impossible but improbable is an accurate description.

Some people say I overreacted to losing you and that I should just suck it up and move on.

I told the last person who suggested I just forget to try walking with two broken legs.

Doesn’t mean I didn’t want to or that I didn’t try to. It just means I understand what Garth was talking about when he said you’ll know she’ll be there in your dreams.

Seen you there more than once, had conversations that left me wondering why you weren’t there when I woke up.

Those moments haven’t just been limited to mornings because they aren’t limited to the tick-tock of the clock.

They come and go as they will.

Sometimes I hear your voice, smell your perfume or swear I feel your presence.

I know just how crazy it sounds and I look in the mirror and ask the face looking back at me if he wants to wear one of those special jackets with the arms that tie in the back.

He never takes me seriously, just mimics and mocks me.

Dude looks me in the eye and says he remembers how surprised I was when somehow I got you back.

Says any man who can survive a lightning strike ought to have more faith in higher powers and inexplicable moments.

It pulls a wry grin across my face and I nod my head.
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There had to millions of girls out there and of those millions had to be tens of thousands I could fall in love with and who could fall in love with me.

Why was it you.

Why was it us.

There aren’t good answers to these questions so I find myself saying the things I have said before.

Red dress, blue dress- it doesn’t matter because I don’t just love you. I fucking love you.

And the moment we kissed again I felt you melt into me and I knew you had fallen for me again without your having to say so.

Knew from that moment on that if anything happened it would take one kiss to remind you about whose arms you should be in and whose hand you should be holding.

What Comes Next?

I don’t know how we lost each other again or why we let it happen.

Don’t know how we could have been so dumb but my heart swears it still beats with yours and claims our souls have never stopped their eternal embrace.

Can’t say for certain what comes next but there are moments where I think of calling you and asking you to meet for coffee.

Moments where I think about how I’ll look you in the eye and say you have to kiss me.

Moments where I figure if you say no I’ll tell you we have to do it in the name of science to see what sort of chemical reaction it creates.

Would love to see if my theory is proven true.

My hand is empty without yours in it.

You ought to take it, after all it is offered in the name of science.

And if not, well maybe we’ll find each other one day.

Time Passed

He wrote and rewrote letters to her but never sent them.

Some might say it was because he was scared she would say not and maybe scared she would say yes.

He told himself it was just a matter of timing and that up to now it hadn’t been the right time. It sounded like a silly excuse to him and maybe it was, but there had been this gut feeling that he was following.

A feeling that had pushed, pulled and motivated him for as long as he had known her.

You might say it had gotten him into trouble and you might say it had gotten him out of it.

More time passed and he thought about what he should do and what he could do.

Sometimes he felt like this might be the time to just keep walking but any time he thought about it a voice told him to wait.

Sometimes he would tell the voice it was crazy but it never responded and he stopped talking because it made him think he might really be crazy.

Ultimately he knew he wasn’t and that fear was pushing him a little bit. So he would take a deep breath and keep going as he had.

It wasn’t preventing him from doing any of the things he needed to be doing and he felt confident he would figure everything out in whatever time he needed.

He sighed deeply and muttered something about already having tried forty different ways.

A moment passed and then he looked up at the sky, closed his eyes and felt sunshine warm his body and soul.

Good things would happen, he wasn’t sure exactly what or when, but good things would happen.

(A different version ran here.)

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