“I am not your fucking phantom, though sometimes you act like I am a fucking ghost.”
He walked outside and thought about who he was, where he was and what he was doing.
Asked himself if the girl who said she would love him forever and that they were inextricably linked had found reason to disconnect and walk.
Yeah, it was possible and some might even say probable but he wasn’t a mind reader so he couldn’t say one way or another.
He knew that regardless of how she felt now she would say they had an improbable love story and that no one would have ever predicted it.
She would say she had loved him as deeply and as hard as she had loved any other man. Sometimes he thought
Sometimes he thought knowing that would be enough and other times he thought it was tragic.
Because the potential was of the sort few could ever say they had experience and if it never came to be it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it might make the angels weep.
A heavenly chorus would gnash their teeth and cry out with sadness and anger. He might look upward and tell them not to feel
He might look upward and tell them not to feel badly because you can’t break a heart that is already broken.
That wasn’t entirely fair because the “breakage” wasn’t all romantic in nature and in some ways the other part was the most painful he had ever experienced.
But he was built to last and knew nothing but determination to go forward and see what lay beyond the next bend.
Under a moonlit sky he looked up said to no one in particular, I have kissed more than a few women but none ever compared to you.
And then he started laughing because he could hear her tell him not to put such pressure on her and or say that he didn’t have to lie to get her into bed.
He wasn’t really sure why he was laughing and wondered if maybe he was losing it.
“You are right babe, I never did have to lie. You saw me and I saw you and once upon a time that was enough. I wonder if you see the way you once did and what your eyes show you.”
He walked down a ways and told her he didn’t need to ask her permission to love her and that he would continue until he didn’t.
“It is a poet’s life, I am living now and I must plumb the depths and explore it. A cave must be illuminated and my mind is that cave.”