The Big Dope

He listened to the big dope talk about shopping for wine at Target and rolled his eyes.

It was often amusing listening to a semi literate idiot talk about things they knew little about.

Some weren’t smart enough to admit their ignorance about particular topics, especially when they were trying to start something with a woman.

He almost told the big dope he was being dopey but decided not to. The last time he had done that the big dope had spent months stalking him online.

He had made it clear to the dope that he was aware of the stalking but the dope had stuck around for a while.

It wasn’t clear why the dope had left. Could have been boredom or he might have finally become flexible enough to engage in some autofellatio.

Ultimately it didn’t matter, he had better things to do than worry about the dope or whether he would get the play he wanted.

Especially given the crazy circumstances he found himself in.

It was the sort of thing that might work out really well or blow up in his face.

The black and white nature of it didn’t make him happy. Life rarely was one or the other.

I’m the midst of his musings a thought flirted across his mind and he thought about the girl.

For a long while he had focused on pushing her out of his head. She was a distraction that he didn’t want to worry about.

We’ll, that was only partially true, the whole truth confused him.

He could go through periods of time where he was fine. Didn’t think about her much and if he did, well it was fine.

But there were moments when she would force her way into his consciousness and that would be like a mental body slam.

Because it always made him aware of the giant hole that she filled.

And he would ache.

It hurt, her absence that is and he would wonder how she could not feel that emptiness.

Did she truly not feel it or did she fool herself into thinking it wasn’t real.

Sometimes he thought he knew and sometimes he had no idea.

Maybe she was the love of his life and this was temporary or maybe it was forever.

He tried to be respectful and responsibile but he felt a magnetic pull.

And because she stayed distant he focused on doing so too. Didn’t want to tell her a thing because if she didn’t feel a thing it would be awkward.

So he didn’t do it, figuring if it was meant to be it would be and if it wasn’t it wouldn’t.

Life was pretty ridiculous, especially his.

But if you want an adventure you have to do your best to live it.



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