Inside You

He told her one day she would open her eyes and find him inside her. She said that he was fooling himself and it would never happen.

“I’m  not being literal. You think I’m talking about sex but I’m not. I am saying you’ll realize I was always with you just as you have always been with me.

She was going to ask what it meant, expecting him to say it was literal. She didn’t believe he wasn’t saying they would sleep together but by the time she stopped analyzing his words he was on a plane.

And so she waited to see what he would do just as he waited too but for what he didn’t know.

Experience made her believe one day he would try again but the longer he went without the more she wondered if maybe he wouldn’t.

Notes

And then one day you ask yourself to consider the possibility that maybe you are one of those people who had a couple of great loves for however long you had them and that is all you get or all you have got.

Maybe you used up all of your mojo and finished all of your magic living and loving and all you get now are memories. If that is the case you could choose to put those memories in a box and no longer leave them on display. And maybe in thirty or forty years you can take those dusty things out of the box and take a look at them again.

That is if you really need to, because you might not.

Some people never get as much as you got. Maybe that is it. Maybe that is enough.

But you never answer the question and though you put those things in a box you know exactly where they lie and you wonder about lies in general.

Because sometimes we lie to others and sometimes we lie to ourselves, but sooner or later there comes a reckoning with ourselves and it matters not if anyone else is involved because your heart and head serve as judge and jury.