The man woke up and thought about the dream he had just had, or at least the one he remembered.
She had been there again, not the first time by a long shot but the first one in a long while where he wondered if the universe had just provided a clip of a future they would share.
It was hard to believe it was anything but a glimpse of a time they had discussed as a possible option but had set aside because it seemed unlikely.
And yet just when he had thought there was no reason to believe circumstances had changed and opportunity had begun to knock. It made him wonder about many things.
It was impossible not to gather little drops of hope like dew from leaves because something felt different this time. Some of that was because it was different. They were both in places that provided a different perspective than they once had.
So maybe it was ok to begin to let a little of that hope in because sometimes dreams intersected with reality.
Time passed and things happened leading the man to wonder if there was perhaps reason to wonder if maybe wishes and dreams long forgotten were worth remembering.
And if they were worth remembering maybe that meant there was reason to explore taking action on them.
It was worth mulling over.
The lady promised to update the man and so he waited and waited. After a time he wondered if he needed to reach out again or if it was better to give her space because he was certain she would find him again, she always did.
But he wondered and worried a bit and so he made a decision.
The man noticed the few times her majesty had spoken with him she had shared quite a bit of her life and her feelings.
He thought it noteworthy and suspected she was surprised by how much she had said. He suspected she was torn because of the particular moment.
He suspected she didn’t want to lean on him at all but wanted to run into his arms and tell him everything. She trusted him so deeply it frightened her or so he suspected.
Her majesty had given him everything in the past and circumstances had gotten in the way so they had split mostly…but not entirely.
So he felt pretty good about his assessment but understood he might be wrong too. Both could be possible and even if he was correct she wasn’t ready to admit any of it.
But he had a feeling one day she would reach out and they would have one of those naked conversations they used to have.
The kind that were as intimate as lovemaking even if they were completely dressed and sitting 10 feet apart.
The man took stock of the past chunk of time and marveled at all that had happened.
He had set his intention on taking a particular path into a new future because he didn’t see a reason to continue upon the old.
Time and time again he had tried to make some things happen and had repeatedly failed. Even someone as determined and strong-willed as him had limits which is why he made the decision to turn away.
And then the unexpected had happened and that changed his position. He had experienced something you could call a teaching moment and had received an education.
That influenced him because he had to reevaluate the situation and he determined his analysis had been wrong. It was the equivalent of using the wrong formula to solve for X.
The numbers might look correct but in reality they were not so you had to start fresh because the prior conclusion was flawed.
And so he rode back the other direction and came to a place called the lady in the castle. He set up camp there and began a long meditation with the idea that it would render more clarity than he had started out with.
Rumor has it the man might see the lady in a couple of weeks…maybe.
Probably won’t be one-on-one but it could lead that and ultimately they need it. There is unfinished business that has left them feeling unsettled.
Soon the man will go one way or another because it is time and a certain weariness has overtaken him. Without change or reason to believe there is no reason to continue.
Got a feeling tied into why the lady has been in hiding. Been thinking about saying something because if I am correct that is the correct course of action. But if I am not, well that might send things on a particular path.
The man wondered if the woman noticed and figured actions spoke louder than words. So he set upon a particular path of action.
Things didn’t go as he hoped and or expected but he wasn’t totally surprised.
And then other things happened that turned all of his thoughts inside out and upside down. Suddenly he wondered if maybe that mystery whatever was mixing its hand back in.
Maybe done wasn’t done and timing really was everything.
He thought he would probably find out.
The man could have written the woman a letter, sent a text, email or even called on the phone but he didn’t. He was waiting to see if she would notice or care.
Waiting to see if she would do anything, take any sort of action. He was pretty sure he was important to her and that she would be sad if something happened.
Still actions speak louder than words so he wondered if she would show it because when she was in, she was usually in. Sometimes he thought she might be scared and that was why she was holding back, but that was based on gut feeling and not through her words or deeds.
No words, no deeds made for a deep silence and questions about what direction to go in and what was reality as opposed to fantasy.
It was an interesting place to be in.